Some how I thought I knew
some how I thought it was you,
some where I would lay my head
some where upon the mellow bed,
I did not understand I just could not see
why was this happening to me?
I quit the use trying
I laid on my bed crying
hoping for something to brighten my day
hoping some how you would stay.
I cannot understand
Why cannot I comprehend?
Is there something missing?
Don't you realize you said,
why do I wish this all could end?
The beautiful life I once called my own,
you were beside me but now I'm alone,
what has become of my life?
Why do I feel there is no light?
I once thought that I understood
I once thought I knew you well
but I guess I was wrong
I was never right, I thought I belonged
to this life, but I guess I did not hit the mark
I guess I thought I was too smart
now look, I am in the dirt
wondering why so bad it hurt.
But I still thought I would be better
I still thought we should still be
my once happy life has turned into clay
my once happy world has been taken away,
I thought I could stand on my own
willing to believe that I never could
have lost you, the way I did,
all the things I did not want came at last.
How could I be so ignorant you were pointing it out to me
I thought this was to always be.
I guess I was wrong and I fell on my face
but now I have learned that wanting what you want never pays.
The whole reason I felt like this
the whole life I thought would never end,
came crashing down but I could not see
I struggled to breathe but I could not breathe.
I finally found you were not for me
at least not for now.
You would be happy,
some where along the lines that kept me
some how I believed that everything
was perfect and nothing could go wrong
some how I thought the feelings towards me
you had, would always be shown.
I sit here wondering
I lie down thinking
if only I could take back
if only I could relive everything I wanted to
everything that hurt you,
if it was never so
if I was never alone,
but I so quickly forgot
the lesson that has been taught,
of many things I pushed for
but most where not for me at all.
Why did I try to forget?
why did I just pretend?
everything was happy and you were fine,
everything was better this time,
I slowly forgot about the truth
It was hidden in the lies I knew.
Nothing would have taken me away
nothing would make it ok,
I thought I could stand up again
and just make mend
of all the things I could never do alone
of all the things that made me fall down
of all the things I believed were possible in me,
without you? I could never be
without you I am empty
I am alone
I feel lost because you’re gone,
I still have the feelings for you
I still believe that love was true
but I know you are happier now
then you would have been
I am glad I let you go
even though it was so damn hard to do
I am trusting that I made the right decision
I know that even through the hard times
you are happier then you have been,
and I love you through thick and thin
I love you and I let you go
because I know now
you need to spread your wings and fly away
though its hard I'll be okay
because I know I no longer hurt you
I know this is where you belong
and I will be strong
because I know you want me to
and I am gratefully honored
of the times together
though sometimes I wish it could have been longer
but I know this is right
and I love you in spite
of all the hard feelings that we both had
of all the heart aches for the happy and for the sad
I want you to be happy the best way you can
I want you to be free from anything that holds you back.